Living with seborrheic dermatitis can feel challenging at times, and for some people, that may lead to shame and issues with intimacy. “It is an embarrassing disease, and for me, it’s also isolating,” one MySebDermTeam member wrote.

This can be true no matter where your seborrheic dermatitis symptoms are. While some people experience the condition on their face or their back, it can also impact the areas of skin under the breasts or around the genitals. Having flaky, discolored skin in these areas can affect your body image and quality of life, and it may even make intimacy painful.

There are, however, ways you can enjoy a healthy sex life while living with seborrheic dermatitis. Consider these three tips to work beyond the embarrassment that this condition may cause.

1. Talk With Your Partner About Your Skin Condition

Although you may not feel like introducing seborrheic dermatitis into your conversations, it’s a good idea to let your partner know about your skin condition to take the pressure off of them potentially discovering it during intimacy.

You don’t have to tell them the intricate details about your health, but try to have a clear conversation and discuss the facts. Explain that seborrheic dermatitis is a type of eczema or atopic dermatitis that creates scaly, discolored, flaking, oily skin patches. Let them know that it’s not caused by poor hygiene, and it’s not contagious. The National Eczema Associations recommends having this conversation early on, when your relationship is new. That way, you can share details and answer questions before you are in the midst of an intimate moment.

Take time to field all of your partner’s questions, and let them know that they should feel free to continue asking about it as more questions arise. Some people need to process information before they fully absorb it, so it’s best not to expect your partner to touch on all the topics they’re thinking about during the first few hours after that first conversation.

Once you’re planning to have an intimate moment, if you have any affected areas of the body that you don’t want to be touched or seen due to your seborrheic dermatitis, let that person know upfront what your comfort level is and where you do and don’t want to be touched.

If you’re nervous about sharing this information with a new partner, it can help to practice what you’re planning to say by talking with a friend or family member.

Some couples with eczema find that they have an easier time sharing information about the condition by exploring each other’s bodies with lotion. If you have a seborrheic dermatitis-friendly cream that you’re comfortable using, you can ask your partner to rub it on your body. As they do, point out areas that feel good and others that are uncomfortable. This may help both of you better understand which areas might be off-limits.

2. Take Steps To Manage Your Stress and Anxiety

It’s important to not only treat your seborrheic dermatitis symptoms but also to manage any mental health issues that arise as a result of living with a skin condition. Just as you see a dermatologist to treat your skin conditions, you should also consider seeing a mental health provider or therapist if you feel overly self-conscious, anxious, or depressed. A counselor trained in intimacy issues can help with feelings of anxiety and embarrassment around intimacy specifically.

“I have a stress issue from seb derm,” one MySebDermTeam member wrote. “I think most of us do. It can be painful, and the itching is sometimes unbearable, but we’ve got to keep going.”

Another member said, “It’s making me feel bad about myself. It's embarrassing at times and I can't go outside. I feel people's eyes on me. I just want to stay away from them.”

In addition to seeing a mental health counselor, you can take steps on your own to help you better manage the stress that comes with living with seborrheic dermatitis. Some of your stress may come from anticipating your partner’s reaction to your skin condition, but the reality may be that they won’t be fazed by it. If you work on managing your stress, you may feel more comfortable around intimacy.

Effective ways of managing anxiety and stress are different for everyone. Some techniques that people find helpful include:

• Practicing meditation or mindfulness
• Exercising to release positive endorphins
• Spending time outside to help boost mood
• Consuming a well-rounded diet and not skipping meals
• Getting enough sleep
• Trying self-care routines to help boost self-esteem

Members of MySebDermTeam have shared how they release anxiety and stress. “I want us all to be aware of stressful situations so we can avoid them and do what is best for our health,” one member wrote.

Another said, “I hope everyone doesn’t ever give up and continues to love and pamper themselves. You all are beautiful with or without this skin disorder that we are all faced with. Please remember that we all have the power to help ourselves by the way we speak to ourselves.”

3. Open Up to Your Health Care Providers

If you’re nervous about intimacy while living with seborrheic dermatitis, talk to your dermatology team. They can review the treatment options that can help ease your symptoms, reduce flare-ups, and help you feel better about managing your seborrheic dermatitis.

Your dermatologist can help you find seborrheic dermatitis treatments that both improve your skin health and your overall well-being. These may include:

• Topical antifungal creams
• Antifungal pills
• Foams
• Topical corticosteroid creams
• Topical calcineurin inhibitors (TCIs)
• Highly potent phosphodiesterase 4 (PDE4) inhibitors
• Phototherapy
• Home remedies

At-home solutions and over-the-counter products your provider may recommend include certain soaps, moisturizers, ointments, or shampoos that can reduce dry skin and dandruff. Always talk to your health care provider before trying a new product to help avoid allergic reactions or worsening your seborrheic dermatitis symptoms.

Even if you’ve talked to your doctor in the past, remember that new treatments and updated skin care recommendations may have come out since then. In addition, your doctor can help you manage your intimacy concerns and may be able to recommend a behavioral health counselor who’s skilled in working with people who have seborrheic dermatitis.

Talk With Others Who Understand

MySebDermTeam is the social network for people with seborrheic dermatitis and their loved ones. Here, over 8,000 members come together to ask questions, give advice, and share their stories with others who understand.

How do you handle intimacy issues with seborrheic dermatitis? Have you talked to your partner about the condition? Share your tips and experiences in a comment below or on your Activities page.